Mittwoch, 27. August 2014


The minute I met you, I had this feeling of something, something profound, I just hadn't figured out what it was when you unfriended me, when you decided to disappear
–no, disappear is the wrong word.
Is there a word for sucker punching someone in the heart?

Is there a word for sitting in a roller-coaster?
Realizing the climb is coming feeling the flip in your stomach from the fall before you even move. Is there a word for that?

You didn't give me the time to figure it out. You left me with only my words, words to use in blogs, in messages. Words that aren't defined yet... Words that barely fill my empty heart.

Instead of… holding your head to my chest I write about watches
beautiful, expensive watches that bring the stars, but freaking watches.

Friends have words for me… “Snap out of it.”
I am fighting, and it isn't snapping!

Instead of… holding my hand
you like cakes on Facebook and tweet about nothing.

Is there a word for the moment you win tug of war?
When the weight gives in and all that extra rope comes towards you?
You fall even though you won.
Is there a word for that?

I wish, so I can say it and snap out of it.

Instead of… I write emotional junk –pitying myself
hoping someone somewhere will track you down to tell you there is a girl who still writes to you. She doesn’t know... how not to...
37 x

Dienstag, 26. August 2014


Midnight Planétarium by Van Cleef&Arpels

49 x

Montag, 25. August 2014

self centeredness

Sometimes I feel that there has never been a person who has missed anyone as much as I miss you. Yeap, I know it’s total bullshit.
71 x

Mittwoch, 20. August 2014

my scale

There are a few heartaches that ice cream cannot fix but that is what we have tears for they will wash everything away. There are days when I open my hands to help and end up with bruises; days when I try to fly and the people I want to save are the ones standing on my cape; there are days when I get in trouble for telling the truth. But these are the days when I have even more reason to say I love. Because there is nothing more beautiful than the way the ocean refuses to stop kissing the shoreline, no matter how many times it is sent away.

I know that on a scale from one to over-trusting, I am to damn naive. But I want you to know that this life is made out of sugar. It crumbles easily, but do not be afraid to taste it again because it will still taste sweet. I am a worrier and a warrior, but I am also the girl with small hands and big eyes who will never stop asking for more. I will always apologize when I have done wrong, but I will never apologize for the way my heart refuses to stop loving. And when I get another heartache, and you slip war and hate under my door and offer me only handouts on street-corners of cynicism and defeat, I will tell you again how much I love you.
86 x

Dienstag, 19. August 2014

Between the lines

Only a few of my friends are aware that I am a natural on reading body language: I pick up on emotional cues like crazy. I can read between the lines like no one else, especially if I know a person. I can tell by their tone of voice or the way they move their body how they feel. There is no hiding your true emotions around me. However, I never throw you under the bus. I pick up on the smallest details, for instance, when people mirror my language, spoken or written, to connect with me. Men do that a lot, mostly unconscious, you did it too, but you knew what you were doing. This may sound arrogant, but I am aware that my EQ is much higher than the average person's.

Hopefully, you now understand that I am able to tell if it was you who wrote me or your significant other. I noticed you mirrored my language, I guess to help created a bond? Like you needed that I liked you for who you are.

It is obvious that you pretend to be in a happy relationship, but you are not! I don’t know why you masquerade your true emotions, but I am sure you motives come from a place of honor. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not saying I am better than you! I too play the stage of everything is o.k in my relationship. Nevertheless, I never deny answers. I recognize someone who has an emotional claim that I am obligated to answer!

After everything went down, I spoke to your significant other and I took all the blame. I understood her need for closure. I acknowledged my part in this mess and I apologized! However, I was never granted an apology, or an explanation. After all you were flirting with me too; this was not a one-way street and you know it!

You remember @Starbucks when you gave me all this advice on how to manipulated people into liking me to advance my career. I already knew these tricks.. The truth is, I liked you and I tried to see the good in your ideas because I knew you meant well, but personally I would not chose such an approach.
Why pretend to like something to advance in your career with the wrong people? Why not find the people you really share a common interest with- to create real satisfaction!

You used all this fancy lines: “I made a commitment, and I honor my commitments!” That being said, I feel what you didn't say stood out the most! Why am I saying all of this? Because often the truth is found in what one doesn't say! In your case, words like love, or caring were missing from your statement.
95 x

Sonntag, 17. August 2014

Eleven months

I have been seeing you a lot this past month, it use to cheer me up till that one day. The day you looked at me and a quick smile came over your lips, but it was a scornful smile.
I used to like to go downtown because I hoped to see you there, but since the smile incident I fear it. Then the last time we crossed path my heart started beating faster, and I ran from you, afraid to see a scornful smile again.
I feel lost. How could I still have hope after such a long time. All the signs tell me to move on but my heart doesn’t agree with my mind. Your absence from my life is overwhelming at times. Your noble persona left an invisible mark on my life. You never said a bad word to me, but your silence hurts just as much.
90 x

Dienstag, 12. August 2014

I Apologized For Loving Someone – Never Again!

One can love, love, love but sometimes love is not returned. That is not anyone's fault. To love or not to love is a choice. One chooses to love or chooses not to. This does not mean that one is unworthy of love. People are not idiots, fools, or weak for loving. Rather, people who tell how they feel have courage. Because one chooses to be vulnerable and self-sacrificing; a requirement for love. Therefore, I will never again apologize for loving.
152 x

last post

The minute I met you, I had this feeling of something,...
anna25bell - 28. Aug, 09:15
Midnight Planétarium by Van Cleef&Arpels
anna25bell - 26. Aug, 14:04
self centeredness
Sometimes I feel that there has never been a person...
anna25bell - 25. Aug, 16:09
Between the lines
Only a few of my friends are aware that I am a natural...
anna25bell - 24. Aug, 15:04
my scale
There are a few heartaches that ice cream cannot fix...
anna25bell - 20. Aug, 19:48
Von Römern und Glas...
Letzten Sonntag hat es uns ins Museum nach Oklahoma...
anna25bell - 20. Aug, 09:28





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